Gwenith J.

It’s Not Heaven Without You

On November 20, 2020

I write this through (slightly unexpected) tears as I just finished Whenever You’re Ready, the final episode ever of The Good Place. This show… well, when I began watching it, I expected what was basically funny nothings–Superstore in heaven, if you will. What I got (if you know anything of the show), was nothing like that. While it obviously did not ascribe to my views of heaven, it did fill my need to see people actually striving for the best for each other and for others. I was in a place in my life where I didn’t see much good in the world. The Good Place gave me a place to go to see the best in people, even people who might be bad. Heck, the whole judge storyline, and the idea of NOBODY being good enough to rack up enough “points” to make it to the Good Place–that one really rings true.

But, while it did hit good marks, it did give such a sad view of “after.” As soon as Phoebe–I mean, Hypatia of Alexandria–I mean, Patty?–started talking about how too much good turned people into mush, my heart broke a little. The “resolution” of that storyline? To give you an easy button to an eternal almost-suicide, that you can learn all you want and enjoy all you want but then choose to end your existence–forever. The idea of heaven, but heaven without a point, truly is heartbreaking, I think. To desire to just live, learn, and then blip off into oblivion… if that was the real afterlife, what does it all mean? Is the only real purpose of life to better ourselves? That can’t be all there is.

In all that was good in the show–Eleanor and Chidi constantly finding each other, Tahani finally reconciling with Kamilah and her parents after so, so many Bearimys, Jason and Janet’s unexpected love and (oh dip!) Jason even waiting around to give Janet the missing necklace–there was still this prevailing theme that life was only good if it had an end. Everything was given meaning by the existence of an end. And I just don’t think that’s true. I thought about this several days ago, too, as I finished Schitt’s Creek and watched the Best Wishes, Warmest Regards mini-documentary, and Dan Levy mentioned how much more meaningful the show was made by seeing it end. (A paraphrase to be sure.) I was already pondering this by the time I chose to finally finish The Good Place, which I had been putting off as I didn’t particularly want it to be done. I do think that this is somewhat true–the ending of a show on your own terms does give a little more meaning to the whole thing. But I don’t think human life can be so easily equated to the run of a series, no matter how beloved.

The idea that heaven needs an “out”–the Final Door–the door into oblivion, is a thought so sour in my mouth.

I am reminded of one of my favorite songs from back in middle school– “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie.

Love of mine, one day you will die, and I’ll be close behind,
I’ll follow you into the dark
No blinding lights, or tunnels to gates of white,
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark…
If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the NOs on their VACANCY signs
If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks,
Then I’ll follow you into the dark.
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary,
And the soles of your shoes
Are all worn down
The time for sleep is now,
And it’s nothing to cry about,
‘Cause we’ll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms.
“I will follow you into the dark”, Death cab for cutie

What I am hearing from all these is this: ending is the only thing that gives meaning. At some point we need to embrace the darkness. It is desirable to embark into an unknown dark. And that just feels so sad to me.

My faith in God gives me hope in a very different afterlife. We aren’t embracing darkness, we are embracing eternity in the light of God’s love for us. We aren’t embarking into the unknown, we are walking into a real paradise. However, I can see how heaven without God looks so bleak and dreary. If everything is unicorns and frozen yogurt and music you can eat, but there’s no purpose… what is there? God is what gives life, and afterlife, real purpose.

I look at embarking into the afterlife not as a lonely walk into darkness and the unknown, but as Bilbo at the Grey Havens:

Day is ended, dim my eyes,
But journey long before me lies.
Farewell, friends! I hear the call,
The ship’s beside the stony wall.
Foam is white and waves are grey;
beyond the sunset leads my way.
Foam is salt, the wind is free;
I hear the rising of the sea.
Farewell, friends! The sails are set,
the wind is east, the moorings fret.
Shadows long before me lie,
beneath the ever-bending sky,
but islands lie behind the Sun,
that I shall raise ere all is done;
lands there are to west of West,
where night is quiet and sleep is rest.
Guided by the Lonely Star,
beyond the utmost harbour-bar,
I’ll find the heavens fair and free,
and beaches of the Starlit Sea.
Ship my ship! I seek the West,
and fields and mountains ever blest.
Farewell to Middle-Earth at last.
I see the star above my mast!
“Bilbo’s last song”, J.r.R. Tolkien

Instead of looking into those shadows and only seeing darkness behind them, we should look forward to those islands where “night is quiet and sleep is rest”, where there are “fields and mountains ever blest.” I also think of Narnia.. I think of Reepicheep’s insistence on heading to Aslan’s Country (Matt Mikalatos, who I had the joy of hearing speak at several retreats in college, wrote a great piece on this) and I especially think of The Last Battle. The door in the forest, the Final Door, the door to oblivion, in The Good Place–that reminds me of an almost-perversion, a sadder version of that Door through which Aslan led the Narnians, from an old Narnia being torn apart by evil, by Dragons and Giant Lizards, “further up and further in” to a new and glorious Narnia, where everything is made whole. It is in that new Narnia–the new Heaven and the new Earth, which I have hope. I cannot hope in being vaporized into the universe through a door in the woods, but I do have hope in following happily through the door into wholeness.

So just like it wasn’t truly The Good Place for Eleanor without Chidi (or a sense of purpose), I would argue, it’s not Heaven without God.

Currently Inspired By: Homesteading

By Gwenith J.

On September 2, 2020

In Eco-Friendly, Lifestyle

The first thought I had once the lock-down began in March was a joking, “better start a Victory Garden, I guess!” I assumed the shelter-in-place orders would actually only be for the specified three weeks. I didn’t have any idea how true this thought was. Over the next days and weeks, I quickly learned I couldn’t be more wrong. We’re almost six months in to stay-at-home mandates and there’s no end in sight, a lot of people have done just that–modern day Victory Gardens have sprung up all over the place and homesteads are having a new heyday! I am currently very inspired by the homesteading trend, and am hoping to start homesteading myself!

A shovel in the dirt surrounded by sprouts

Since we became homeowners several months ago, we’ve been thinking about what to do with the 2.4 acres it’s on. Currently, there are a few fruit trees (not thriving mind you), some 6 pine trees that line the road, 4 sago palms on our driveway, and 4 rosebushes in the front, along with three rows for grapevines that were torn out before we bought the house (the horror!) Thankfully we have a few “volunteer” grape plants returning. I would be very happy for them never to have been torn out in the first place.

Our Current Situation

In the back, there’s an acre and a half of oat grass and weeds, along with our well & 3000 gallon tank, a couple old structures, a small backyard area, an old chicken run, and two storage sheds. We have a lot of goals for the area in terms of our future homesteading needs.

The front of the property slopes down towards the street. We are thinking of doing most of our gardening down the front of that hill. That way, drip irrigation can work better through gravity. It would also allow us to keep animals in the back without worrying about them getting into our food source. Currently we have about half an acre fenced off for our horse, Sassy. That’s only a temporary solution until I can move our fence forwards quite a bit to give her more space. I am hoping she will have 0.75-1 acre to hang out in.

This is goals right here! My mom is able to grow all these things in her garden, so I am going to have to have her lend her green thumb to me.

The Dream

I am hoping to build up to growing all the vegetables we need. This includes special veggies for our bearded dragon and extra carrots for miss Sassy (the horse!) Probably for the first few years I will focus on staples, like lettuces, carrots, tomatoes, potatoes, etc. In the future I’d like to branch out into more exotic produce. I already have several tomato plants and some herbs growing this year, but unfortunately we moved a little late in the growing season to get much more than that started. (We’re pretty busy remodeling our home interior this year, so I am hoping to be done with the initial portion in the next few months so we can start focusing on the outside of the house!) I wish I had been able to begin more homesteading efforts this year, but for now I am in the research phase.

New Animal Arrivals

Since there’s already a little chicken run in the yard, I’ve been craving chicks every trip to the feed store. I know it’s best to wait until we’re a little more settled in. We’re still adjusting to life in a new place. We adopted a new puppy and a new horse friend, and we are still getting used to life with them. And of course, we also have entirely new situations happening all around us due to the global situation. Waiting until next spring to get chicks will be better for us, and for them. I’m incredibly excited for fresh eggs, though! Southern Revival’s Fancy Farmhouse DIY Chicken Coop has inspired me to build them an even more lux situation when I have the chance.

John also wants to get goats. I think it’s mostly so he doesn’t have to mow as much, but I’m a big fan of that idea! We have no plans to milk them or raise meat goats for now. I am okay with buying those things at the store for the time being, but I am excited just to have them!

I’m super excited to see where this new journey takes us!

Laundry Room Renovation (Part 1): From Nightmare to Peace

By Gwenith J.

On July 31, 2020

In Home, Lifestyle, Renovation

When we toured our new home during its open house, we loved the land, the space, and the potential. One thing we didn’t love? The design choices of the previous tenants. I’m not talking about dated furniture or weird light fixtures–I’m talking about chartreuse, crimson, and royal blue walls. Thankfully, the sellers had painted over some of these interesting choices from the original owners. (The sellers only lived in the home 6 months before we bought it.) Oh, boy, though, was one particular room a nightmare. The laundry room was in desparate need of renovation. Imagine ugly linoleum paired with just the most awful shade of green/chartreuse walls possible… it made me and my husband feel anxious to be in there. In fact, you don’t have to imagine, you can see it….

From the machines toward the garage door, dining area, and mini closet.

This room got to be our first to tackle, because my sweet mother-in-law let us know that she had ordered us a washer and dryer set as a housewarming gift. In her usual style, she goes totally overboard on giving gifts, which is incredibly kind. They were getting delivered a couple weeks after we moved in. That meant we had to move fast to update this room before they arrived. We pretty much started on the laundry room renovation the day we moved in.

The Beginnings

First things first, we pulled up the baseboards. We wanted to make sure to remove them carefully in order to keep them intact. First, we sliced along the top using utility knives to detach the layer of paint holding them to the wall. Then we used our Dasco Pro prybars in order to pull them away from the wall. Finally, we needed a hammer and crowbar to fully detach them.

We then pulled up the two door kick plates on the doors to the garage and back yard. Then, we removed the door to the tiny closet in the corner. (We decided to use that as a pet supplies/cleaning supplies closet with a kitty door at the bottom, and put the litter box at the bottom.) Floor scrapers like this one helped us pull up all the vinyl flooring without much hassle, and then we headed to the store to pick out tiles and paint.

We decided on the paint immediately above the tile in this picture, Valspar Snowy Dusk.

The Renovation

Once we picked out our tile, Della Torre Annabelle Grey, and our paint, Valspar Snowy Dusk (which we will also be using in both bathrooms), we started painting that night. We painted until 2 am in order to start tiling in the morning. Our neighbor used to work installing floors, so he helped us quite a bit. He showed us how to mix thinset (MAPEI Ceramic), cut the tiles (we rented a wet saw from Home Depot Rentals), and make sure they are spaced and leveled correctly (using TAVY 1/8 inch spacers). We’re super grateful for his help!

Inspector Willow checks out our work during the dry layout of the tiles, after paint had dried.

Finally, we grouted the tile with MAPEI Keracolor sanded grout after it had set for 24 hours. Costco delivered our awesome machines a couple days later! I don’t have any pictures of the room with the machines in it yet, unfortunately. (Currently it is full of laundry and an absolute disaster!) I am going to make a second post soon to update y’all. I plan on building a laundry basket shelf, a counter over the machines, and a freestanding pantry in the room within the next few weeks. Stay tuned for the next phase of our laundry room renovation!

The Results!

This was taken as the thinset was drying, with the spacers/levelers still in place.

My husband & me standing in front of our new home!

A New Adventure: Homeownership!

By Gwenith J.

On July 30, 2020

In Home, Lifestyle

About three months ago, John and I took the dive and bought our first home! I meant to make a post about it long ago but I (as I think most people do) underestimated how much time new homeownership and that adjustment takes. After a far too long search (I swear we saw a few dozen homes, between showings, open houses, and model homes) we were exhausted and near the end of our rope. We had made offers on another home we loved, and lost it, and tried to make offers on other homes that were then snatched out from under us. Maybe I’ll make a full post about the search process in the future. Finally, we found our home on March 14, made an offer that was accepted the next day, and then everything hit the fan with the COVID-19 pandemic on the 16th. Our interest rate spiked massively and we were worried that we would lose yet another house we loved–but God came through (as He does), as this was His plan for us.

We are so grateful to finally have a home! Everything was getting so cramped in our little one-bedroom apartment, and we had reached a point where we were just moving our excess stuff from room to room, depending on which space we needed to use at the time. (Not having to compete for parking spots is also a blessing.) Escrow closed on April 20, and we spent the next month and a half moving in. This last month we’ve finally settled in enough to start doing renovations! The house has great bones, but was built ing 1996 (the year we were born!) and not updated since then.

So far, we’ve repainted the lime green laundry room, retiled it, got new machines, and created a makeshift pantry. A post on that whole process is to follow. Currently, the plan is to build a laundry basket shelf on the right side of the machines, a counter on top, and a cabinet pantry on the left side. We have one long 12′ by 6′ room that serves as the walk-through from the house to the garage, an exit to the outdoors, the laundry room, and the pantry. There was a tiny closet in the corner by the back door that was used as the pantry by the previous homeowners, but we cut a hole in the door, installed a cat door, and put the litterbox on the bottom level. The upper shelves are being used to store cleaning supplies, pet supplies, and other things that won’t be sullied by the smell of the litter box.

Our current project is the guest bathroom. One of the previous owners was handicapped, so they had cut the back off the guest bedroom closet. We’re in the midst of putting the wall back in, changing out the 90’s vanity for a new one (that actually has storage space!) and updating the bathroom in general. We’ve got a lot to do in the bathroom and the house in general, but it’s coming along!

all of the products from an order from Grove Collaborative

Grove Collaborative First Impressions & Mini-Review

By Gwenith J.

On February 16, 2020

In Cleaning, Eco-Friendly, Home, Reviews, Subscriptions

Disclaimer: I purchased all these items on my own, no items were sent to me for free for review. Any free items received were as a result of a company promotion, not sent to me in order to post. All opinions are my own. Some links in this post may be affiliate links, please read our affiliate disclosure for full details. Any prices listed below were accurate as of the time of posting.

What is something you hear about constantly but have never actually tried out? If your social media habits are similar to mine, you’ve probably seen a LOT of ads for Grove Collaborative. In the middle of podcasts, on sponsored videos on my Facebook feed, and in banner ads galore, I haven’t heard the end of Grove Collaborative for the last year or so.

To be honest, I was both annoyed and intrigued by the commercials. I wrote Grove off in my mind as having cool products, but as probably overpriced and unnecessarily chemophobic. So for a year, I ignored it. Recently, I’ve been thinking more about my impact on the environment. I decided to research some more reusable products/eco-friendly companies to buy from. Lo and behold, who should pop up but Grove Collaborative? I decided to try them out.

I ordered my first order on Monday the 10th of February. They arrived incredibly promptly on the morning of Wednesday the 12th. I only have had the products for a couple days now, but I wanted to share my first impressions & some mini-reviews of the products I received.

First off, my haul:

Mrs. Meyer’s Hand Soap in Lemon Verbena (free with the 5-piece starter set)
Mrs. Meyer’s Dish Soap in Lemon Verbena (free with the 5-piece starter set)
Mrs. Meyer’s Multi-Purpose Cleaner in Lemon Verbena (free with the 5-piece starter set)
Grove Collaborative 2-piece Walnut Scrubber Set (free with the 5-piece starter set)
Grove Collaborative Bubble Up Dish Soap Dispenser & Brush Set (free with the 5-piece starter set)
Grove Collaborative Glass Spray Bottle & Glass Concentrate (free with a $19.95 purchase)
Grove Collaborative Modern Stoneware Tray (free with a $39 order)
Seedling by Grove Jumbo Tree-Free Paper Towels ($3.45 for 2, or $1.73 each)
Seedling by Grove 3-Ply Jumbo Roll Tree-Free Toilet Paper ($3.95 for 4, or $0.99 each)
Grove Collaborative Reusable Snack Bag, Blue Pattern ($5.95 for 2, or $2.98 each)
Grove Collaborative Shower & Tub Cleaning Kit (paid $21.99, $32.14 value)
- Grove Collaborative Grunge Buster Grout & Tile Brush (individually $6.95)
- Grove Collaborative Tub & Tile Cleaning Concentrate (individually $6.95)
- Grove Collaborative Glass Spray Bottle with Silicone Sleeve, Periwinkle (individually $14.95)
- Method Daily Shower Spray (individually $3.29)
Full Circle Tater Mate Potato Brush with Eye Remover, Green ($5.99)

In total (with tax), I paid $44.84. Shipping was free with a 60-day free trial of Grove’s VIP membership. You do not need a membership in order to use the site. The VIP membership opens up free shipping, the option to ship immediately, free gifts with purchases, and Grove’s price matching ability. (Full disclosure: I have emailed Grove about a price match for the E-Cloth Microfiber Mop, which I found on Zulily for $23.99 and is listed on Grove for $39.99. So far I have not heard back, but it has been less than 24 hours. Because of this, I cannot review or vouch for the quality of Grove’s price matching. I will update this post with further details once I hear more.)

All of the items I received — This is my whole order (minus the walnut scrubber sponges, which I accidentally left in the house when I took these pictures)

Below is a screenshot of my order:

So far, I am enjoying the products! Here are some mini-reviews for the products I’ve used so far:

Mrs. Meyer’s Hand Soap, Dish Soap, and Multi-Purpose Cleaner in Lemon Verbena–I love the scent! I have been using Mrs. Meyer’s products for years, but had been all out for awhile, so I am glad to be able to restock. They are very good quality. The Multi-Purpose cleaner is great at getting daily dirt & grime off surfaces. However, I have noticed it does not perform as well as heavier-duty cleaners on harder things to clean. Our bath/shower combo or the kitchen range are both not fully clean after just using this.
Grove Collaborative 2-piece Walnut Scrubber Set–These arrived slightly damp, which was odd, with a noticeable scent. They’re definitely not scrubby enough to get really burnt or caked-on messes off of my cookware/dishes. (See: the nightmare of a time I am having trying to clean my cast iron pan that has burnt-on remains from searing some steaks) They are doing well so far for everyday dish cleaning. They did get some of the residue from Western Potato Rounds (my husband’s favorite side dish to make) off of my sheet pans though, which is usually a nightmare.
Grove Collaborative Bubble Up Dish Soap Dispenser & Brush Set–I am in the midst of house hunting and trying to move, so I took this out of the box & admired it, but packed it back up. I plan to use it in my new kitchen, once we move. (Full disclosure: Full Circle sells the Bubble Up Dish Soap Dispenser & Brush without the Grove brand for cheaper prices elsewhere. I have found it on Amazon for less than $10, and at Sur La Table for $13. I got it for free with this order, however, so it was definitely a good deal!)
Modern Stoneware Tray–The same goes for this as the Bubble Up set–we definitely plan on using it in our new place (provided we find a new place), but there is just no room for either in our current tiny kitchen setup.
Grove Collaborative Glass Spray Bottle & Glass Concentrate, Orange & Rosemary–I tested this head to head against Windex and can’t notice a difference, other than the fact that the Grove brand one smells a lot more fresh & better in general. I have a huge amount of Windex in my house right now (my husband’s old roommates moved out & left two 2-liter jugs of Windex behind), but once I use all of that, I will most likely switch over to the Grove concentrate! I never thought about it before, but the reason they send concentrates instead of pre-mixed formula is to save the weight of the water being shipped. This keeps the cost of fuel & shipping lower, and it’s super easy to mix up at home! I also hear they have a recycling program for the tubes of concentrate and will send you a prepaid return envelope if you request it. I haven’t tried this out yet, but I plan to!
Seedling by Grove Jumbo Tree-Free Paper Towels–I used these when I tested Windex vs the Grove Window Cleaner head to head. I also used my Member’s Mark (Sam’s Club house brand) paper towels with them, side by side. In both the tests with Windex and the Grove brand cleaner, the Seedling towels cleaned better & left less linty residue on the window. They are not as good as picking up spills as the Member’s Mark brand, though, and tend to not rip off the roll well (if you just grab & tear, rather than pulling down carefully, they tend to rip off in chunks.) I do not plan on buying these again, as I am planning on moving to non-disposable options altogether–microfiber towels, bar mop towels, etc.
Seedling by Grove 3-Ply Jumbo Roll Tree-Free Toilet Paper–my husband says these are fine in his mind, but I will NOT be buying them again, unless they are changed. They are textured on one side and “flat” on the other and (TMI or not)… they just feel WEIRD. Not a fan. I am trying to move towards toilet paper made with post-consumer paper, though.
Grove Collaborative Reusable Snack Bag, Blue Pattern–I am disappointed that I don’t see anywhere that these are freezer-safe, but they didn’t advertise themselves to be, so I won’t knock the product for it. I wouldn’t put anything wet or oily in them as they need to be hand washed, but these are great for dry snacks like nuts and crackers. In general, I have been trying to use less bags and more reusable plastic/glass containers when packing lunches/snacks, however, because they’re less likely to be crushed. I continue my search for reusable freezer bags, though.
Grove Collaborative Grunge Buster Grout & Tile Brush–This is very thin, and fits into the INCREDIBLY ANNOYING gap between my tub & the vinyl walls of our shower enclosure. This gap is the bane of my existence. I do not understand why, if you would wrap a tub and shower enclosure in vinyl, you would leave a half inch gap between the walls and the tub. This gap CONSTANTLY gets filled with water that does not dry or drain, so it is Mildew Metropolis in there. I shudder to think of what the apartment walls are like behind that, but hopefully it will soon no longer be our problem. Anywhoo, we try to clean it as much as possible, and this thin brush will hopefully help us out some (there’s no solving the issue, unfortunately.
Grove Collaborative Glass Spray Bottle with Silicone Sleeve, Periwinkle, and Tub & Tile Cleaning Concentrate, Lavender–LOVE the scent of this, and the bottle is so cute. I have yet to do a head to head comparison of this vs. my usual tub cleaner, but I will update this post when I do.
Method Daily Shower Spray–I’ve been wanting this for a while so it was so great to get it in this set! It won’t help with the aforementioned Tub Gap Of Doom, but definitely makes my bathroom & tub area smell and look cleaner when I’ve used it these last few days!
Full Circle Tater Mate Potato Brush with Eye Remover, Green–I have been eyeing this for years and never pulled the trigger. Literally! It has been sitting in my Amazon wish list for a very, very long time. As I mentioned earlier, my husband LOVES making Western Potato Rounds (and lots of potato dishes), but he drives me INSANE by using a spoon to scoop out the eyes of the potato and basically losing like 20% of the potato in the process. I am hoping the eye remover side of this cute little brush solves this problem once and for all.

The tree-free paper towels, reusable bags, stoneware tray, bubble up brush, Tater Mate, and Mrs. Meyer’s soaps

Bathroom Items from Grove Collaborative — The bathroom items I bought & received: tree-free toilet paper, glass cleaner, tub and tile cleaner, multipurpose cleaner, grout brush, and daily shower spray

Things I plan on buying in the future:

E-Cloth Deep Clean Swivel Mop
Grove Collaborate Floor Cleaning Concentrate Set & All Purpose Cleaning Concentrate Set (both come with 2 tubes of concentrate and a corresponding glass spray bottle)
(Possibly) Grove Collaborative Daily Shower Cleaning Set–we’re going to see how well the Method brand performs over a long period of time, but I do like that the Grove brand ones come as concentrates to save the cost of shipping the water. I might try this one out if I’m not totally happy with the Method brand bottle over the long term.
Grove Collaborative Replaceable Head Dish Brush
Grove Collaborative Universal Wand + different heads (the Glassware Cleaning Head and the Bottle Brush specifically)
Grove Collaborative Sink Caddy
Real Simple Clean Cutting Board Oil
Method Heavy Duty Degreaser
Alba Botanica AcneDote Face & Body Scrub (I’ve bought this before from TJ Maxx and LOVED it)
BullDog Skincare for Men Face Wash (for my husband)

Things I don’t plan on buying from them:

Glass Hand Soap Dispenser or Foaming Hand Soap Dispenser. If either comes in a package deal free with something else, I will definitely get them. For the listed prices, though, I can find 2 packs of even bigger glass hand soap bottles/foaming hand soap bottles on Amazon. The ones on Grove are their proprietary brand, so they do not apply for the price match.
Grove brand Microfiber Cloths–they are around $4 per cloth. I can find comparable quality ones on Amazon for about $1 per cloth. (There are ones on Amazon that are quite a bit cheaper than that, as low as $0.35 per cloth. The cheap ones on Amazon are of lower quality–everything depends on what you’re looking for, though!) The E-Cloth brand is a different matter, however; if I am looking for specifically E-Cloth products (like the E-Cloth microfiber mop, which comes highly recommended) I would buy them on Grove with the price match.
Wool Dryer Balls–I had an existential crisis the other night when I realized I was staying up late watching dryer ball reviews. I clearly have made it to the boring point of adulthood. However, I did learn what I should be paying for wool dryer balls, and $6 is not it. I found a set of 6 on Amazon (the Woolzies brand) for the same price ($17.95) as the set of 3 on Grove. (And, if you were wondering, the dryer ball reviews came up inconclusive. I am going to buy both wool and rubber dryer balls and see which ones produce the best results.)

Free 5 Piece Starter Kit & Tray — This is the free 5-piece starter kit and the Stoneware Tray (minus the walnut scrubber sponges which I forgot to include in the picture)

The deal:

For a free trial of the VIP Membership & a starter kit, click here.

Wedding Attire & Accessories on a Budget

By Gwenith J.

On June 11, 2019

In Budget-Conscious Planning, Wedding

(Some of the links in this post are affiliate links! View my full affiliate disclosure here.)

In my time wedding dress shopping, I experienced a little sticker shock looking at accessories in the bridal salon. I understand the cost incurred when creating high quality, couture items, and I like to support smaller businesses when I can, but I could not justify the price tag on anything more than my dress (already more than I would have liked to spend.) When it came to purchasing accessories & attire for our wedding, it was Amazon to the rescue (as usual!) in addition to a lot of bargain-hunting. In this post I’ll share specific items I used and some tips and tricks for finding the best deals.

Bridal Accessories

I was not sure of the exact style I wanted to have for our wedding. My dress came with a beaded belt sewed on, so I did not have to worry about that. I did, however, need to figure out what I was doing for shoes, hairpieces or veils, jewelry, garter, and undergarments.

Shoes

In terms of shoes, I knew heels were not an option for me. The walk to the altar at our venue involved grass, dirt, train tracks, and a wooden deck. Given the fact that I trip over my feet on flat surfaces, I was worried enough about faceplanting in front of 200 people. So flats were the only option for me. Thankfully, I found really cute ones in these White Lace Leaves TOMS that I found. (They’re a little different than regular TOMS. Instead of the uppers being a fabric they were a plastic-y mesh with the lace on top. This made me need to size up significantly. I usually wear a 7.5 in TOMS and I ended up needing to get a 9 in these. They also got CRAZY dirty by the end of the night, but that’s because my wedding was on a pumpkin farm!) If I were going to do it again, I would go with these simple Moroccan Crochet TOMS instead, because of the fit issues.

These White Lace Leaves TOMS were a great pick!
Photo thanks to Adrienne and Dani Photography

It’s hard to choose shoes online, which is why Amazon’s easy returns are nice. With a lot of Payless locations closing these last few years I was short on options for physical stores. I ultimately bought my wedding shoes from David’s Bridal. Unfortunately, when I had to change sizes, their online return system was honestly a nightmare. Once again, if I had to do it again, I’d go through Amazon. (Or possibly Nordstrom, as they carry TOMS as well.)

Veils & Hair Accessories

When it came to the decision whether or not to wear a veil, I was stumped. I knew it was traditional, but I just didn’t see myself in one in my head. I decided against one for several reasons: my mom didn’t wear one (and if I had worn one, I would have wanted it to be sentimental) and the back of my dress was so intricate that I didn’t want anything blocking it. Instead, I chose to wear my hair up and use a beautiful clip that matched my dress. The beaded belt on my dress was a mixture of pearls and rhinestones, so this clip matched perfectly. It stayed put all night.

Here’s a close shot of the hair comb I chose (with my awesome MOH, cosmetologist Grace Darney, doing the styling finishing touches!)
Photo thanks to Adrienne and Dani Photography

When I browsed Amazon for choices for my hair, I was still super unsure of what I wanted. What helped was creating a Pinterest board of ideas, and pulling key words from there. If I saw a headpiece with pearls and rose gold, I would search any permutation of the words “headpiece, circlet, jewelry, gold, rose gold, crown, tiara” etc. When it comes to the way Amazon sellers describe their items, casting wide nets and then narrowing down is the best way to see all the options. I then created a wishlist of all the ones I really liked, then viewed them side by side. Always compare reviews, as well! One of the headbands I LOVED at first had terrible reviews (think it falling apart in the middle of pictures) so I steered clear. I’m really glad I chose the one I did in the end!

I wanted to show off this beautiful detail on the back of my dress, so I decided against a veil.
Photo thanks to Adrienne and Dani Photography

The Underpinnings

One of my biggest issues when it comes to dresses is the dreaded thigh rub. I did not want to deal with that horrible sensation on my wedding day! Although Gold Bond (in stick form) and LUSH Silky Underwear ( a powder) work great, I didn’t know if they would really last all 12+ hours of my wedding day without requiring reapplication. After looking through the options, I decided shapewear was the best choice. These shorts were long enough to prevent the thigh rub, high enough to smooth out my tummy, and comfortable enough to wear all day without cutting into my skin on the top or bottom. They also didn’t roll down! I love these and wear them under most longer dresses now, because they are so useful for that thigh rub problem.

Additionally, we got this garter set (even though I didn’t really want to do a garter toss… but that’s a story for another day). It fit the bill as my “something blue” and it also fit another of my requirements–having a “toss garter” so that nobody had the garter that had been on my leg. (Confession: I only wore the actual garter for like, 1 minute before we actually did the toss, though.)

Photo thanks to Adrienne and Dani Photography

Bonus item: Bridal Shower Dress!

After LITERALLY going to 31+ stores looking for a dress for my bridal shower back in my hometown, I almost gave up. This dress saved the day, and I still love it!

Bridesmaid Accessories & Attire

With eight bridesmaids, I expected the struggle of a lifetime figuring out what dress works for everyone. Some people decide on a color of dress and let every bridesmaid choose a style, but a couple of my friends asked that we not do that because they were worried about not coordinating with everyone else. Once we figured out what types of dresses we were looking for–not floor length or too heavy of fabric (because it was 98 degrees the day of our wedding!), navy blue (my husband’s favorite color), not strapless (too many of my bridesmaids were uncomfortable with that), and very affordable (we had just finished college so money was tight!) we were off to the races with looking for dresses. I think we came up with about 20 or so that were contenders, but we narrowed it down to about 5 and then decided between those.

We had gotten down to deciding between a couple dresses from Amazon, a dress from Azazie, and a dress from a little boutique website called Filly Flair. When it comes to bridesmaid dress shopping, you need to keep everyone’s budget in mind while also keeping individual style in mind–you don’t want to choose yet another dress they will never wear again, but if it’s going to be a one-wear dress, it might as well be inexpensive! I am sure all of us would love to have the budget to gift the dresses to our bridesmaids, but most of the time that’s just not possible. Remember to be considerate of their individual situations!

After a lot of choices were vetoed, my bridesmaids said they loved this simple but elegant summer dress that was both affordable and cute! It ended up being perfect for our day. It fit well on a lot of different body shapes and flattered all of them so nicely!

This is how the dress looked on my sweet friend Jessica!
Photo thanks to Adrienne and Dani Photography

Since we were using the same dress for everyone, we used this beaded belt to differentiate my Maid of Honor. It was inexpensive and a simple addition, but added a pop of extra flair to her dress. If I had not had the built-in belt on my dress, I would definitely have gone with one of these beautiful belts to accessorize myself!

Here’s the belt on her during the toasts (excuse my facial expression!)
Photo thanks to Adrienne and Dani Photography

Groomsman Attire & Accessories

We tried to be pretty simple with our groomsmen’s attire. To save costs for them, we gifted them this bow tie that comes in a great gift box and these suspenders that looked great on everyone as a thanks for being a part of the wedding. We didn’t want them to incur the cost of a full suit, and our wedding was going to be pretty swelteringly hot, so we figured these along with a dress shirt and slacks would make for a good (and hopefully cooler) outfit! To save costs, we found times that Men’s Wearhouse was having buy one get one free or buy two get one free sales on pants and let them all know about it so they could buy slacks together for a reduced price. These sales seemed to pop up quite a few times in the months leading up to our wedding, so I would check those out when looking for menswear!

Here’s a shot of the bow tie & suspenders combo on our friend Sean. (In the rear, Andy, the best man, wore a regular tie for differentiation.)
Photo thanks to Adrienne and Dani Photography

Wedding attire is definitely not the cheapest thing in the world, but shopping smart and shopping around helps for sure. Thankfully we live in the Amazon age, so there are a lot of cheaper options for accessories & anything you need. It can seem daunting shopping for everything necessary at first, but I bet with a little work you’ll make it come together beautifully! If my tips helped you with your wedding shopping needs, please pin it on Pinterest! Let me know in the comments what your best wedding shopping find has been.

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Two Starbucks Frappucinos sitting on a ledge

Starbucks Summer Game 2019: Match Two!

By Gwenith J.

On May 29, 2019

In Deals

Starbucks has released its new summer game, and this time it’s called Starbucks Match Two! This time we have the opportunity to win (earn?) up to 300 stars. These can be redeemed for free drinks, food, or merchandise based on the new Starbucks Rewards structure. You’ll get 5 stars per challenge completed and bonus stars when you match two of the playing pieces. There are twelve pieces for a total of 6 matches. I checked out the challenges this morning when I got the email. I think I’ve figured out a strategy for filling up the whole board in only four visits! I’ll explain my strategy at the end of this post, I hope it’s helpful!

Own Your Everyday (Jordan Lee Dooley) Review

By Gwenith J.

On May 20, 2019

In Books, Future Planning, Personal Growth, Reviews

I received a copy of this book free from Waterbrook & Multnomah in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions are my own.

Sometimes you get handed the right thing at just the right time in life–Jordan Lee Dooley’s debut book Own Your Everyday is one of those things for me. If you read my last post, you’ll see that I’ve been in a time of major transition after graduating college and trying to figure out my place in the world. I’ve listened to Jordan’s podcast, The SHE Podcast, since it launched and followed her for several years. Her words of encouragement have helped me along this journey already, but I didn’t expect the impact this book would have. When I first joined the launch team for this book, I expected to read and promote a good book (of course)–not a book that spoke exactly to where I am right now and who I am right now. But that’s what I ended up doing.

The book cover for Own Your Everyday — Click on the photo above to be directed to where you can order the book!

Own Your Everyday is filled with personal anecdotes that can seem disjointed at first, but as you continue reading, Jordan connects each story to her points so artfully that you can’t help but admire the way she looks at her past experiences. Instead of seeing obstacles in her life as setbacks, she is able to acknowledge them for the growing points they were. Touching on topics such as outside pressure, un-met expectations, and discouragement, her words are applicable to almost any season of life the reader could be experiencing.

Although I resonated with many of the stories she told, her experience with her Nana really hit home for me. I was surprised, in fact, that her story could be so incredibly similar to my own. Without revealing too much of her own story, we both experienced losing our Nanas our first year of college (and it seems to have shaped us both in similar ways.) As I read about her thoughts on this specific experience, especially her teenage reluctance to be the caretaker (it’s true, it’s hard to see someone who is supposed to take care of you become the one who needs care), I went through all those feelings all over again. As she reminisced on the lessons her Nana taught her, I reminisced on mine. This may not have been something Jordan intended when writing this specific story, but oh how it did impact me.

The style of this book is very conversational. It’s been described by many as “feeling like a coffee shop girl talk,” and I would agree with that. From advice about purpose and planning to thoughts on freedom, envy, and vulnerability, this book has a little bit of it all. If you have anyone–a mom, sister, daughter, friend, anyone–who needs encouragement (or just a little push) at this point in life, I would recommend Own Your Everyday. I feel blessed to have read it and learned from it, and plan to come back to it throughout my life. Gift it to a graduate during this time of transition or a friend who needs it. You won’t regret it.

"Your purpose begins with being 100 percent you--you showing up every single day in spite of the things you believe disqualify you from trying." Jordan Lee Dooley — Pin this quote if it inspired you!

This review has been cross-posted to GwenithReads.

After the Cap & Gown: Advice for Life Post-Graduation

By Gwenith J.

On May 17, 2019

In College, Personal Growth

(Some of the links in this post are affiliate links! View my full affiliate disclosure here.)

There are many transitional periods in life, and graduating from college is one of the biggies. Whether you have a job lined up and plans laid out or you’re surveying an uncertain future, this step is significant. It can feel both exciting and daunting. For me, this year since graduation has been the catalyst for a lot of growth and self-discovery. Despite this, I wish I could have been a little better prepared for what this period would hold. I decided to write down my thoughts about life after graduation and ask my friends about their experiences. In the process of gathering all this together, I’ve learned a lot. I hope this is helpful for you as well.

Looking Back on Twenty-Two

By Gwenith J.

On May 9, 2019

In Personal

It’s hard to believe tomorrow is my twenty-third birthday. I know everyone says this, but it really does feel like yesterday that I woke up on my birthday last year! (and let me tell you–that was a weird way to wake up. I had fallen asleep on the beanbag chair in my husband’s, then fiance’s, living room and woke up to one of his housemates singing a song on ukelele at 7 a.m. Not completely out of the norm for my life in college, but it was a thing to remember for sure.)
Twenty-two was definitely a year of crazy transitions for me. I graduated from college, left my job, got married, moved to a new city, got two new jobs, and adopted a new pet. If you feel like you’ve got whiplash reading that, that’s pretty much how I felt.
I have had to learn a new outlook on life. My life is so different from the place it was a year ago that if I stayed in the same thought patterns and looked at the world the same way now as I did then, I’d be super confused. Although transition can be difficult at times and I often question what my purpose is here (see my last post for details on that journey), I think I have grown for the better.
Within the struggle of missing the friends I am so close to and was so used to being around, I have been learning how to build new community and how to appreciate myself. I have had valuable time spent with my husband and valuable time spent re-learning my own passions and likes/dislikes. Although I found myself in some dark places during this year, I also found myself in the midst of a lot of excitement at times! Our wedding and honeymoon and the initial excitement of moving, as well as the excitement of college graduation, were all wonderful times! I appreciate having those bright points amidst a year of chaos.
Although, as with every good thing in life, the growth I’ve seen in myself this last year has been hard-won, I am grateful for it. I have learned who I am at this point in my life, I am learning where my passions may point me, and I am learning how to handle my own feelings during times of turmoil. Twenty-two was chaotic, but it was worth it.
Here’s to twenty-three!