This post originally appeared on my high school blog, Destination: Awareness.
Feminism seems like such a dirty word sometimes. Not because of what it means, but because of the connotations which people assign to it. When I tell people I am a feminist, reactions range from the offensive (“but you don’t look butch/lesbian/radical/crazy/etc”) (not that there is anything wrong with any of these things) to the quizzical (“why would you want to be a feminist? Feminism is just women wanting to be better than men.”). Society, although often divided on many topics, seems to agree that feminists must look, speak, and act a certain way, because we all have to just be stereotypical angry women, right? Feminists aren’t a certain group. Feminists can be men or women, homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, transgendered or cisgendered, queer, of any age, race, or social class. Feminism is not a movement restricted to those who are classed as “the typical feminist,” however that is seen. Feminism is simple: feminism is equality. It is simply equality. Equal treatment, equal opportunity, and equal respect for those who are female or those who exhibit behaviours classified as “feminine.” Feminism is not the quest for the domination of the male, it is the quest for the end of what can be equated to sex- or gender-based subjugation. It is the quest to be considered equal.
The other day, my friend brought up the fact that she doesn’t understand why the term “feminism” is even in existence. At first I was very confused, but when she clarified her meaning, I realized how insightful of a point she was making. She explained that she noticed that racist is a word, but there is no word for an anti-racist, because racism is most definitely not in vogue. However, because sexism and male privilege are so ingrained in our society, this case sees those fighting for equality being the ones marginalized with a label. When she said that, it harmonized with how I feel in a way I had not expected. Her words were in accord with ideas I did not realize existed within me, and I am pleased that she put words to these thoughts.
Now that I’ve put words to what I believe the core of feminism is, I’d like to make the point I am really trying to get across with this. Why do many women seem to hate feminists? When men develop a bad taste for feminism, it is more understandable. It is not often that they truly have malice towards women in their hearts; instead, the disconnect comes from the society we live in. Because most of human history has played itself out in male-dominated societies and because male privilege is prevalent in our society, when women fight for equality, it can seem to men that instead, we are trying to subjugate them. Although equality is the only thing being striven for, because men do not often notice the disconnect and inequality in our society–at least in my experience, many males believe our society is already completely equal–it can seem as if we are trying to take their rights away. While I in no way defend them, I do not think they provide a singular obstacle to overcome, but rather one of many. I look towards the anti-feminism women as another enormous issue. A faction of anti-feminist women shares the view that feminists “want to be above men” and that feminists “make up all their statistics” and that all feminists “want to kill men.” These women are not only opposed to the feminist movement, but those people who comprise it. It seems unfair that a movement made up of so many people has been relegated to the status of being a single entity with a single mind, when, in truth, it is comprised of people from the entire spectrum of human life that simply have a shared goal. However, although these people seem to garner their information from perhaps a small faction of the views and information put forth by feminists and broadcast this information as if it was the view of all feminists, they are not the most harmful of the anti-feminist women I have encountered. The most harmful are the ones in everyday life who look down upon you because you proclaim your desire for gender equality. They do not outwardly argue with you in most cases, but undermine you. An argument can be dealt with–facts can be presented and discussed, and an agreement may not be reached, but at least everything is out in the open. When each action that is being made is undermined, it is much more difficult to confront. The big question here is, why? Why would someone willingly go against people who are actively trying to expand upon their rights? The answer must lie in society. To figure this out, we must remember that feminism is an unpopular opinion because it goes against the patriarchal structure of our society. Anything that is in conflict with the norm will seem uncomfortable to those who do not familiarize themselves to it–this is human nature. Also, I have heard from many that they agree with my viewpoints, but will not outwardly display agreement because they have a deep-seated fear that if they seem like a “crazy feminist,” men will not love them. Others will merely find the stereotypical feminist annoying and generalize the entire group from that point onwards. Some believe that because of their religion, feminism is invalid. For one reason or another, the majority of women (in my generation, at the very least) are rejecting those who are attempting to reach out and attain rights and acceptable treatment for everyone.
I believe the way to combat this is to change the perception of feminism in society. False notions about what it is should be confronted head-on, so that proper education about the quest for gender equality that is feminism may occur. There can be no more misinformation if perception is to be changed–and that is what must happen. I would encourage all people to educate themselves on this and other important issues. Unsure of somebody’s statistics? Look it up. Don’t know if what you are about to say is the truth? Don’t say it. Misinformation, whether about this or any other issue, is a plague that will spread quickly. But on this issue, people must know: feminism is not a quest for dominance. Feminism is a quest for equality. I cannot stress that enough.
picture from a deactivated tumblr blogger–not my own
(Post-note: These are all my opinions. I do not claim to speak for anyone else and I do not claim to be absolutely correct in all that I say. Although it may seem that I am accepting a gender binary in my language here, it would be much more complicated to talk about the issue without using terms that most people are familiar with, so I have written in the most simplistic way possible. I don’t really expect anyone at all to read this far, but if you have, I hope my viewpoint may have incited some thought processes within your mind.)